DemocracySpace.org: Remembering John Parr

January 02, 2008

Remembering John Parr

A tribute by Martha McCoy

It is with terrible sadness that the civic world mourns the passing of John Parr. John, his wife Sandy Widener, and their daughter Chase died December 22 in a tragic car accident as they were traveling for the holidays.

John touched the lives of so many of us. He made lasting contributions to the work of collaborative governance, community problem solving, and regionalism. And he did so with grace, wisdom, and humor. That is why it is difficult to imagine the next generation of civic work without John’s ongoing energy and innovation.
Curtis Johnson expresses it so well when he reminds us that John was “a power in both politics and civic life who never made much noise about himself. He was content to make things happen for others.”

That was exactly my experience of John. I first met him when I was new to the civic field, in the early 1990s. He was president of the National Civic League. It would be reasonable to think that he wouldn’t have had time for someone so new to the work, but he took the time to talk with me about his organization and the field, introduce me to leaders, and help promote the work of the Study Circles Resource Center. We were a fledgling organization, and grateful to have the support and encouragement of such a strong and smart leader.

Over the next few years, I learned from John as he led the National Civic League, strengthening its work and simultaneously strengthening the whole civic field. He had a great way of honestly and humorously sharing the struggles and challenges of building and leading an organization and nurturing a network. He was one of my first mentors in organization and movement building, and I can’t imagine a better teacher.

When he left the leadership of the National Civic League in 1995, he was excited about spending more time in Denver and Colorado (his beloved communities), and more time at home with Sandy and the girls. I met Sandy and the girls at that time, and was struck by Sandy’s radiance and exuberant energy, and the love of that whole family for one another.

These tragic losses mesh sadly with our end-of-year rituals – of looking back and then looking forward. But I find myself thinking of the things that John taught us and resolving to remember and act on those good lessons.

Among many other things, John taught us: To listen well; to speak honestly and thoughtfully even when (or especially when) your opinion is a minority view; never to underestimate the possibility that people can find and act on common ground, even when they are coming from very different perspectives; to seek opportunities for genuine collaboration; to remember the power of humor (sometimes self-deprecating, but never at the expense of others); to understand the value of an outsider helping to bring a community together, but always with humility; to think and act regionally; to distill lessons across communities that can benefit many others; to uphold both the integrity of democratic processes and the importance of results; to actively cherish the love of family, friends, and local community, even in the midst of pressing (and far-flung) professional demands.

Even as we mourn John’s passing, we can begin to collectively celebrate his life. It ended much too soon. We will miss him terribly, but we are grateful that he was with us.

Martha McCoy is executive director of the Study Circles Resource Center.